There's no such thing as a bad free beer, right?

This is what I thought too, until The Husband and I awkwardly stumbled upon a new brewery in Tucson.  It's actually somewhat of a funny story.

So after watching a University of Arizona basketball game at one of The Husband's old hang out spots, we walked over to a new brewery we discovered thanks to the invention of the smartphone.  The brewery was conveniently located in between Downtown Tucson and the main drag of the University.  And for those who don't know, considering the population of Tucson, it is one of the darkest cities in America.  And I literally mean dark as in the absence of light.  Tucson first adopted outdoor lighting ordinances in 1972 in an effort to provide standards so that night lighting did not interfere with nearby astronomical observatories.

So we're walking through Tucson and looking for the place my phone is telling me to go.  We stop to watch a giant freight train rumble through town 10 feet away from us.  I love trains but wow, my hair was blowing everywhere and I literally felt my chest rumbling as this train passed.  After crossing the tracks, we approach the green dot on my phone and notice a few lights and cab dropping someone off.  As we get closer, we see that the person being dropped off is a man, approximately 6' tall wearing a feather boa, a long suit jacket, tights and cowboy boots.  He holds the door for us and we follow him inside only to see many more people dressed in somewhat similar attire.

The Husband and I look at each other.  Interesting.  I'm wondering if we just walked into a cast party?  The Husband takes off his UofA baseball hat and shoves it in my purse.  We make our way up to the bar and the bartender asks us if we have drink tickets.  I'm sure we looked confused.  Nope, no drink tickets here.  He says no worries, so-and-so (I can't remember his name) will give us some when he sees us and hands us our two free beers.

Noche Dulche (7.1% ABV)
Santa Rita Amber (5.5% ABV)
Borderlands Brewing Company
Tucson, Arizona

We take our two free beers and walk through the crowd to find a table to lean on.  We are very aware that we walked into something we were not invited to but we have no idea what.  As we sip on our beers and stand out like sore thumbs, the guest of honor comes over to talk to us.  It's his birthday!  Awesome, now we know what's going on.  Apparently it was a private party and there was a sign on the door --- but as you may recall, someone in a feather boa held the door open for us and we never saw it.  Oops.  The birthday boy is very nice and very chatty and welcomes us to stay as long as we want.  He leaves us alone to socialize with his friends and we stand around sipping our beers.  It is just about now that we realize these beers suck.

On the left: Nolche Dulche. According to the brewery, "One way to describe this beer is “a dark beer for people who don’t like dark beers.”  Another way is “delicious.”  Notes of cocoa, espresso, and delicately roasted barley blend nicely with real Mexican vanilla from Arizona Vanilla Company."  According to me, this beer is awful.  It is sweet and syrupy and all around bad.

On the right:  Santa Rita Amber.  Again, according to the brewery, "This is not your typical Amber beer. We’re big fans of rye, and we couldn’t pass up a chance to use it in a new way. Rye, caramel malts, and lightly roasted barley set up an interesting malt foundation for fruity and herbaceous hops. We’re also huge fans of Belgian style ales, so we threw caution to the wind and fermented it all with a clean, fruity yeast. It’s easy to drink, but it has a bit more complexity and depth than you might expect from an Amber."  According to me, this tasted like dirty gym socks smell.  It was bad.  Bad.  Baaaaaaaaaaaaad.

So we bellied up to the bar and tried one more, the Prickly Pear Wheat.  Once again, this was awful.

I've never seen The Husband leave an unfinished beer behind...let alone a free beer.  But tonight we managed to leave 3 half finished beers on the table.  Tragic.